We all dream of the perfect marriage. One where everyone gets along all the time…. even though we all know that that is not possible. I married when I was 25, not old, but certainly not young. I was old enough to know. Know what? You ask. To know better. Now don’t get me wrong…. I love my husband, I have been loving him for almost 21 married years and an additional 3 before that. Almost a quarter of a century of love. But what I should have known was that to have an equal relationship we should have been evenly yoked, that is, we should have both been Christians….not just one of us. Now before you condemn me, I did ask, and he said that he was a Christian. At that point in my faith walk I was self involved and a little lost. I took him at his word, I was naive, why would you say you were a Christian if you weren’t, right?
Like the path in the picture my faith journey has curved and turned its way through God’s garden. I have never left my beliefs but I did stray from my path of enlightenment. During that time is when I met my husband. Would I have chosen him if I was on the path and not off? Who knows. I have come to believe that God led me on my winding path and therefor led me to my husband. With all of his ups and downs, in and outs, he is the one that was chosen for me. I have raised five absolutely amazing children created by the two of us, with God’s help. I have prayed for him ceaselessly, I have seen him pray, I have had him show me God’s gifts – the self proclaimed agnostic.
We have had everything thrown our way. We remodeled a 100 year old house, and survived.
We have given birth to five healthy babies.
BUT We have LOST five loved babies.
We have survived mental health issues and came out the other end more aware of our situation and others, it is not a secret to keep in a dark closet.
And all along the way God has been there for US. I say us because with my prayers and my path and my journey I have dragged him along and I would like to believe that by osmosis he is receiving God’s word. The other day we went out for lunch and when we got our food I bowed my head and prayed, when I was done he said, “What do you do? Just talk to him? What do you say?”. Now let me preface this with we, as a family, we say grace at every meal where we sit down together. The younger children to a grace by rote. i.e. God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands we are fed thank you for our daily bread.
I told him that what I prayed for was different every time. That day I was praying for the plumber that was, at that moment, doing some deadly stinky plumbing work at our house. I pray, always, for our children and their future partners. I pray for our families and friends for His loving hand to cover them with His love. And I pray for grace. My husband asking me this, after atleast 16 years of saying grace at the dinner table with me and the children, seemed to be a sign. An augury. A light coming on. I will take even the smallest light.
Love is worth working for (and praying for).