The joys and concerns of parenting, at least in my life


family treeParenting is full of ups and downs. I would like to say that my family, my life, is perfect. For years I walked around pretending that it WAS. That nothing could touch us – to the outside world, that is. Those who were in the “know” knew…. No one’s life is perfect. And being honest with yourself, is so very important to having a successful existence and a happy one.  You can’t just ask God to be in your life, you have to live that way too. Handing my family over to His care is probably the hardest thing I have ever done, in fact I keep taking it back- over and over. And when I do I can see my error – later. “Hind site is 20/20”, how true!

I have smart kids struggling in school – Why do I have smart kids struggling in school? I don’t understand that! They have great minds, read like geniuses, great assessment test scores, amazing SAT/ACT scores- but they struggle in the classroom. I have tried home schooling them, to see if it was the restrictions of the classroom but THAT definitely was not it. They couldn’t manage their time and did poorly there too. They definitely did better with an instructor and parameters, than without. So what is a mom to do? I have trained – I mean raised my children with parameters and limits. They are taught that school comes before play, granted that we have moved homework time around, as a previous blog states, but that lesson was learned together without harming anyone.

I amOur 15-year-old has failed school, and therefore failed herself. She knows what she did wrong but will she take that lesson and learn from it? I don’t know and I really am struggling with how it is I can help her this coming school year. We have started, this summer, with enforcing (and taking no “crap”) her computer time. She plays on the kinks in my armour, she knows the cracks and the entrance points to my bleeding heart. My baby has an image issue. I know, what teenager doesn’t. But her issues are extreme. She has eating issues, emotional, self-image, self harm, self degradation….. What happened? What happened to my perfect family? Why does my  daughter, who all her life has been told by me that she is wonderfully talented, beautiful, creative and a totally awesome individual? But as I learned from our older daughter, peers, although they may or may not be friend,s have a ton of influence! So no matter what a parent says, it only means “x” amount, until later when they grow and mature, then they realize how honest and truthful the parental unit is. Where did my “perfect” family go? I see the marks on my baby and my stomach clenches and turns over! And she sees my face and says, “It’s okay Momma.” But it is not okay. It is so not “okay”. We found a counselor that I think she will, eventually be happy about. She is someone who my daughter could open up to, very layed back and non-judgemental. I hope she can.

Our 18-year-old is living in Kansas at for the summer. She called the other day and said, “Momma, don’t be mad.” HINT sit down when you hear those words. “I just got a speeding ticket, and I don’t have a current insurance card, and my tags are expired. So my ticket is like $500.00!” Okay…. ummmmm…..I told her that her tag sticker was in her glove box and that she needed to put it on. Her insurance card, I forgot to check that before I left her there in May, but that is something that I can fix with a quick call. And, SLOW DOWN Miss Lead Foot. This is something that we all knew was coming. Then she calls to let me know that she is driving up to visit with friends about 3 hours North and she is going by herself. I advised all the usual parental precautions and then preceded to pray for her safety and for those around her to be safe. 20 minutes after she leaves, I get a call from her, “Momma, I’ve been in an accident. I don’t know what happened!” The first thing I want to know, “Are you okay?”. She is freaked out and babbling away, shocked and scared that Mom is going to be mad. I, surprisingly was very composed. However I was scanning my brain for someone to call if she needed a ride back to her temporary home. But her car was driveable so she went on, let’s hope it doesn’t rain, because she broke the back passenger window.

My other 3 children – are angels. (It is summer, so who knows how long I will have these same feelings. It will be the difference between sanity and insanity.)

The parenting path is a treacherous one. A path full of potholes, speed-bumps and ticket-free zones. People that give you directions and those that lead you in the wrong direction. But such is life. It is our duty and responsibility to follow the right and honorable path. Parenting is a privilege and an honor and I am happy to be doing my part, even with the ups and downs.

Blessings to you all~

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2 thoughts on “The joys and concerns of parenting, at least in my life

  1. Hello! I saw your comment on my Parents-Space article on coping with self harm. I hope your daughter does like her counsellor as I have found that to be the most important part of recovery next to wanting to actually recover. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me (prideinmadness@gmail.com)

    1. Thank you so much. The counselor we found seems to be a great fit BUT my daughter doesn’t understand why she needs to talk to anyone at all. She claims that she has stopped BUT she has fresh cuts…..may be I will take you up on the email offer, *sigh.

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